I ain't dead aight... little shytes who thought i was gone... suck it!
how has the world been for all you homophobic kids huh..... I realised that everytime i open this blog window i get angsty... maybe its just fun.. i would have guessed all of you gave up on poor little me... aren't you guys good friends... anyway... been getting less crappy and more dotty..... see..... yup
ok. as usual i had to blog since its 2008 and seeing that the fad has not died off i was happy to go on mainstream and blog... Been involved with loads of shit recently the biggest being school... you know how it is... SCHOOL ROCKS MY SOCKS..... i love it so much i wrote a blog post about school.....
i can't think of a joke to tell you guys no more.... go get my jokes from sabby aight.. can anyone tell me what has happened? i mean i was gone so long and many have changed eh? well one things still the same.... my trashy mouth aint gonna stop moving even if the radio shack gets blown apart and all they have left is mariah carey....
you know how they say jackie chan has the fastest hands in the east...... STAY AWAY FROM HIM.... i mean anyone with hands like that sure wont do anyone especially the ladies.... come to think of it... having such hands would help LOL....
i can't help but be random i mean how serious can a blog get.. its kinda traumatic if i ever found out ppl still read the shit i wrote... just look thru it quick ok...well its been tough and tiring so i understand if all my friends are busy or if i actually had friends to begin with... Anand do you read my blog?
anyway.... poly year has started coming to an end and its kinda saddening knowing that i have to leave a bunch of people who i hold closely to my fatty coagulated heart... not to mention there would be one or two who just are totally...... i'll let you fill in the blanks...
i realised my blog has no tagboard so for those who wanna say shit go to the comments page yeah... i mean honestly friends or non-friends.. air your views.... i am alrdy publicly humiliated how bad can it be.....
back to the friends i have in poly... the dear few that my fingers can count to.... thanks for being there.... for those who tot you were there.... NOPE YOU WERENT.... for those who cant care less.... yup i know you guys are the ones....lol..i shall not name names lest i get splattered for not putting a name up.... but sometimes people just have to accept the fact that you ain't on someone else's list... yup....
to my friends.... during the hols i hope we meet up to eat shit again... and blog about it... maybe we can all grow fat together on *** and also go vegan like EUNICE LAI SHU TING.... yup... than we can lose weight.... i think some people need that....
oh wells... like this post was meant to be soppy....
anyways... kudos to all the cool chicks and Bangz....
peace out! time for some marijuana, my fav
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Monday, October 29, 2007
back for the monthly ritual
ok. for once. i feel like blogging. but as someone once said, "Blogging is so 2006."
I can't agree more except for the fact that this blog has been good to me. For all my friends who always thought i went missing; this was the only way for them to know i am still alive. life has been not spontaneous for me. i haven't been myself lately. maybe thats why i haven really been talking to you. I'm sorry. Been influenced greatly as well. trying not to conform to peoples' views and behavior has been to overpowering for myself. I guess in and around many people i just don't know how to react or behave. yup. i am feeling a burden on me that ceases to amaze myself everytime i see the doppelganger that hangs over my shoulder. schizophrenic? i am very certain that ain't one of my choices. whether or not the person typing now is truly me and whether the thing i type are truly what i feel that is still a mystery. my rantings are irritating even myself. but this is the only constructive way i can use my abilities to attempt to write feelings. Even Shakespeare had that problem. A good question came up in lecture today. Am i a Hamlet or a Macbeth? I realised i am someone who is patient in the way i deal with people but that always gets the better of me. being nice always results in people taking me as suckers. like hamlet i procrastinate killing and i think that for me is the wisest way to survive in such a world. but a macbeth does not cease to build up in me. the blood shed will be insignificant when that day comes because you will pay. I am boiling up to a limit where it needs no introduction. i am in all capability to make your life a living hell. to torment you til your very own ancestors scream. hell fire brimstone may not be the extent that i go but you will feel the heat from hell. I take it that if you read my blog this may be oblivious. let it not get any more obvious because when that day comes, you are dead in my eyes. my cold self will damn upon you and everyone that stands in destructions path. let there be no mistake.
on a lighter note. i am still in search of my self. thanks my dear for being there to help me. you know i always appreciate you. thank you. but do not worry about the above situation. you know i will never implicate you and this issue will blow over soon.
today is not a funny day for me. this is me just being me.long time no see dark side. leave me not today for woe to me if i should face death i will drag you along. scum.
leaving you for later.
I can't agree more except for the fact that this blog has been good to me. For all my friends who always thought i went missing; this was the only way for them to know i am still alive. life has been not spontaneous for me. i haven't been myself lately. maybe thats why i haven really been talking to you. I'm sorry. Been influenced greatly as well. trying not to conform to peoples' views and behavior has been to overpowering for myself. I guess in and around many people i just don't know how to react or behave. yup. i am feeling a burden on me that ceases to amaze myself everytime i see the doppelganger that hangs over my shoulder. schizophrenic? i am very certain that ain't one of my choices. whether or not the person typing now is truly me and whether the thing i type are truly what i feel that is still a mystery. my rantings are irritating even myself. but this is the only constructive way i can use my abilities to attempt to write feelings. Even Shakespeare had that problem. A good question came up in lecture today. Am i a Hamlet or a Macbeth? I realised i am someone who is patient in the way i deal with people but that always gets the better of me. being nice always results in people taking me as suckers. like hamlet i procrastinate killing and i think that for me is the wisest way to survive in such a world. but a macbeth does not cease to build up in me. the blood shed will be insignificant when that day comes because you will pay. I am boiling up to a limit where it needs no introduction. i am in all capability to make your life a living hell. to torment you til your very own ancestors scream. hell fire brimstone may not be the extent that i go but you will feel the heat from hell. I take it that if you read my blog this may be oblivious. let it not get any more obvious because when that day comes, you are dead in my eyes. my cold self will damn upon you and everyone that stands in destructions path. let there be no mistake.
on a lighter note. i am still in search of my self. thanks my dear for being there to help me. you know i always appreciate you. thank you. but do not worry about the above situation. you know i will never implicate you and this issue will blow over soon.
today is not a funny day for me. this is me just being me.long time no see dark side. leave me not today for woe to me if i should face death i will drag you along. scum.
leaving you for later.
Monday, September 24, 2007
hey ppl. hows your pezezz whatever that means. i have been so bored during the holidays that i just wrote a song over the last five minutes before blogging. expect it to be crappy. and yeah. check out marie digby on youtube. she rocks!
enjoy my song. disclaimer: ITS FULL OF CRAP (what do you expect in five minutes)
It’s a secret
Of the ages
How things became this way
Going 90
Down the highway
On a dark and stormy day
How ironic
There were airplanes
By my window pane
And I said….
I am waiting
For the lights to go green
Going crazy
Down the halls my dreams
Did you wonder why
I said I was dry
Before we went to school that day
Its cos…
My contacts are stuck in my eye
Things are blurry
Skies are fading
Into myspace
Wondering why the
Dude on friendster
Had a name so gay
I cant facebook
Cause I poke to many times
And I said….
I am waiting
For the lights to go green
Going crazy
Down the halls my dreams
Did you wonder why
I said I was dry
Before we went to school that day
Its cos…
My contacts are stuck in my eye
I just want to see
Which finger you’re pointing at me
This little finger on my right
Where barking dogs don’t bite
This song doesn’t make sense
Its cause I can’t depend
On her ella ella ella eh eh eh
under her Umbrella
I am waiting
For the lights to go green
Going crazy
Down the halls my dreams
Did you wonder why
I said I was dry
Before we went to school that day
Its cos…
My contacts are stuck in my eye
Oh… my contacts..
Bausch and Lomb baby…
Oh … my contacts
Still stuck in my eye
It hurts when I cry
enjoy my song. disclaimer: ITS FULL OF CRAP (what do you expect in five minutes)
It’s a secret
Of the ages
How things became this way
Going 90
Down the highway
On a dark and stormy day
How ironic
There were airplanes
By my window pane
And I said….
I am waiting
For the lights to go green
Going crazy
Down the halls my dreams
Did you wonder why
I said I was dry
Before we went to school that day
Its cos…
My contacts are stuck in my eye
Things are blurry
Skies are fading
Into myspace
Wondering why the
Dude on friendster
Had a name so gay
I cant facebook
Cause I poke to many times
And I said….
I am waiting
For the lights to go green
Going crazy
Down the halls my dreams
Did you wonder why
I said I was dry
Before we went to school that day
Its cos…
My contacts are stuck in my eye
I just want to see
Which finger you’re pointing at me
This little finger on my right
Where barking dogs don’t bite
This song doesn’t make sense
Its cause I can’t depend
On her ella ella ella eh eh eh
under her Umbrella
I am waiting
For the lights to go green
Going crazy
Down the halls my dreams
Did you wonder why
I said I was dry
Before we went to school that day
Its cos…
My contacts are stuck in my eye
Oh… my contacts..
Bausch and Lomb baby…
Oh … my contacts
Still stuck in my eye
It hurts when I cry
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
the next month of the SOB
the year is 2099, life still sucks on planet earth. many have since gone away to the deep trenches of the asylum under the ground. there stood a mad man and only his silhouette can be seen from beneath the fig tree. The man named Goon was only to be a shadow in the figment of imagination of children. Could Goon be who we are? Are we Goon. NO.... but those who just wasted 3 minutes of their life reading this crap.... kudos YOU GOONDO...
ah ha... life still sucks in Isaac world. and i have found the need to feed on blood to keep myself living on the depths of this world. can you actually think that wat i write is serious. for all my loyal devotees to this dysfunctional blog.... Go die! hahahha... oops.. not you sab...
Anyways... the breathe of life cast upon all humans have proven to be a futile objective to keep this morally sick world to be perfect. I have seen people go do crazy stuff through this period of time and that includes knowing EUNICE LAI. oh wells... Eunice read my blog wat... so must take time to call her an idiot... oops...
Ok enough of eunice life goes on....
Ok music has been the core values of the life we are living... yup... go die! sorry learning too much from Tim. music is a good way to live life and to cause life to really be surreal.... its not through that all good things are in music except if the beatles turn gay... necrophiliac gay bastards.... oh wells..... i know music has been an integral part of my life but my music has been slowing down... from emo music to classical... i really dunno what i am looking out for or what i actually want. life can be all but music now that i have been enlightened with the horrid notes produced by the neighbours mouth.....
The reasons why i haven been blogging is precisely the point that my life has been so boring. i have been try ing to rid the world of bastards who want what i have... yes i am boastful and yes i am pretty much bitchy but yeah... DEAL WITH IT SHYTES! oh well. i am sleepy....... ok....
Maybe i should continue this blog post in third person.
ok isaac has been doing many things to try getting his life well to go. Isaac has attempted on many times being a good guy but isaac has the urge to kill. isaac is turning psycho thinking that he can capture the attention of his readers through third person language. are people these days Neanderthals... maybe isaac should give up blogging but isaac has so many loyal devotees who needs to gloat on isaac's stupidty... for all who are about to rock and roll... isaac salutes you..... isaac shall now bid farewell... give isaac time to blog another one soon.... isaac hates all of you.... kudos.....
GO DIE!
ah ha... life still sucks in Isaac world. and i have found the need to feed on blood to keep myself living on the depths of this world. can you actually think that wat i write is serious. for all my loyal devotees to this dysfunctional blog.... Go die! hahahha... oops.. not you sab...
Anyways... the breathe of life cast upon all humans have proven to be a futile objective to keep this morally sick world to be perfect. I have seen people go do crazy stuff through this period of time and that includes knowing EUNICE LAI. oh wells... Eunice read my blog wat... so must take time to call her an idiot... oops...
Ok enough of eunice life goes on....
Ok music has been the core values of the life we are living... yup... go die! sorry learning too much from Tim. music is a good way to live life and to cause life to really be surreal.... its not through that all good things are in music except if the beatles turn gay... necrophiliac gay bastards.... oh wells..... i know music has been an integral part of my life but my music has been slowing down... from emo music to classical... i really dunno what i am looking out for or what i actually want. life can be all but music now that i have been enlightened with the horrid notes produced by the neighbours mouth.....
The reasons why i haven been blogging is precisely the point that my life has been so boring. i have been try ing to rid the world of bastards who want what i have... yes i am boastful and yes i am pretty much bitchy but yeah... DEAL WITH IT SHYTES! oh well. i am sleepy....... ok....
Maybe i should continue this blog post in third person.
ok isaac has been doing many things to try getting his life well to go. Isaac has attempted on many times being a good guy but isaac has the urge to kill. isaac is turning psycho thinking that he can capture the attention of his readers through third person language. are people these days Neanderthals... maybe isaac should give up blogging but isaac has so many loyal devotees who needs to gloat on isaac's stupidty... for all who are about to rock and roll... isaac salutes you..... isaac shall now bid farewell... give isaac time to blog another one soon.... isaac hates all of you.... kudos.....
GO DIE!
Monday, July 02, 2007
back after a few months... still shitty
less one thinks less he hurts others in the process. it seems that a poetic license has become a crime to many. the ability to express oneself within legal boundaries have gotten even more limited. its real tacky to start of a new post with such a lousy start to the supposed happiness i should have faced the last few months i have been away. its not really been sunshine and lillies every single day. in fact, it has never been for any day. hell freezes over the lives of many who choose to disbelief the existence of God and the existence that men are that trustworthy. I cant seem to be able to say or do things even within legal boundaries to make other happy. I have given myself in to being a minion. that sucks! now that i have gone through a large change that i lost my hair for charity it has revealed loads of stuff to me. dignity ain't all about just the way you look. its more than that. Having a 'do that people recognize as a look of defiance and rebellion is just a misconception to the original meaning why i did this. having to stare down others who think you are on the verge of anarchy. it drives me to insanity that i dunno what i can do. i cant say things to please any and every one. i am who i am because of God and not anyone else. piss off human race and be at your own demise when i take you on with my bald head and the ones i call friends
Thursday, April 26, 2007
My Life's Journey
My Life's Journey (title given by Pei Ying)
Dye me tattoo green
Trace on my life’s journey
Broken hearts and scars
Disfigure my whole being
I thought bleeding would stop the pain
As tears flowed down her face
Watching me delight
As night consumed the day
Crimson down my face
As they turned to look in shame
CHORUS
This is my life’s story
Filled with angst and pain
Though the whole world’s against me
Only she will shout out my name
Just to say “I love you!”
A pint of blood I lost
Just holding broken glass
Sipping down the horrors
I dream of every night
There she’s in the distant
Just calling out my name
Saying those sorry words
It pains me just to dream
I just want to scream
Its driving me insane
CHORUS
This is my life’s story
Filled with angst and pain
Though the whole world’s against me
Only she will shout out my name
Just to say ….
BRIDGE
It’s now my turn to say
I’m sorry
I’ll have to change this song
I’m singing
I love you
It doesn’t matter what the world says
I want to be with you
Even if the world ends today
Because I’ll say…
I love you
Dye me tattoo green
Trace on my life’s journey
Broken hearts and scars
Disfigure my whole being
I thought bleeding would stop the pain
As tears flowed down her face
Watching me delight
As night consumed the day
Crimson down my face
As they turned to look in shame
CHORUS
This is my life’s story
Filled with angst and pain
Though the whole world’s against me
Only she will shout out my name
Just to say “I love you!”
A pint of blood I lost
Just holding broken glass
Sipping down the horrors
I dream of every night
There she’s in the distant
Just calling out my name
Saying those sorry words
It pains me just to dream
I just want to scream
Its driving me insane
CHORUS
This is my life’s story
Filled with angst and pain
Though the whole world’s against me
Only she will shout out my name
Just to say ….
BRIDGE
It’s now my turn to say
I’m sorry
I’ll have to change this song
I’m singing
I love you
It doesn’t matter what the world says
I want to be with you
Even if the world ends today
Because I’ll say…
I love you
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
starry jaded lives we live
Starry Jaded lives we live as we peer across the moonlite way hoping for a spark of ingenuity to strike us. lets pray its not lightning. Life is cool to be classified starry and jaded. Starry personifies millions of stars which show how life is really litted and they are millions of choices put out to us just to make life a little more interesting. Furthermore this stars act as guiding lights to shuffle us across this life time so that no black hole is going to suck us in. On the hind side, jaded lifes can kill. Jaded basically means that we are just numb to many practices or beliefs of the world due to our own greed and over indulgence. Being jaded can honestly suck us high and dry.
With that said. Sober lives in this world basically involve us following each star in our life and having the perfect ending which also means we are bloody robots. Unfortunately life aint about the roses and pretty lilies that bloom and grow in and out of season. Life really is about morbit deaths and sinful lives that corrupt the basic humanity of this living entity we call earth. Jaded is the direct translation of our lifes as many of us get so used to inhumane practices or worldy beliefs that live becomes a page torned out of the orbituary page, grey and dead. its true because nowadays people start to argue relativism or post modernism if you like. Both this ideas speak of how we never wil find a true answer. As a result, major warpes theories strive to plague the world we live in and sadly, we are actually accepting these things. to hear how straight after the virginia tech incident, people stood up and out of their shit holes hoping to imitate the shooter. As of this point my heartfelt condolescence to the family and friends of those who were affected by the shooting. But this does not give rest to the fact that we as a race of people are slowly or more susceptable to just accepting anything the one eyed monster broadcast. Please learnt to be discerening to what are the facts adn what are the opinions. Do not let others opinions sway your beliefs but rather learn to see your beliefs as a stronghold to who you are. This post may in itself contain many opinions and you may agree to disagree with me but this are mine opinions and i apologize if in any of this comments i have hurt someone .
With that said. Sober lives in this world basically involve us following each star in our life and having the perfect ending which also means we are bloody robots. Unfortunately life aint about the roses and pretty lilies that bloom and grow in and out of season. Life really is about morbit deaths and sinful lives that corrupt the basic humanity of this living entity we call earth. Jaded is the direct translation of our lifes as many of us get so used to inhumane practices or worldy beliefs that live becomes a page torned out of the orbituary page, grey and dead. its true because nowadays people start to argue relativism or post modernism if you like. Both this ideas speak of how we never wil find a true answer. As a result, major warpes theories strive to plague the world we live in and sadly, we are actually accepting these things. to hear how straight after the virginia tech incident, people stood up and out of their shit holes hoping to imitate the shooter. As of this point my heartfelt condolescence to the family and friends of those who were affected by the shooting. But this does not give rest to the fact that we as a race of people are slowly or more susceptable to just accepting anything the one eyed monster broadcast. Please learnt to be discerening to what are the facts adn what are the opinions. Do not let others opinions sway your beliefs but rather learn to see your beliefs as a stronghold to who you are. This post may in itself contain many opinions and you may agree to disagree with me but this are mine opinions and i apologize if in any of this comments i have hurt someone .
Saturday, April 14, 2007
...
Hey this is really emo huh. i was looking at the wonder of this potrait behind me. adorned upon my wall was a story of a luthier who built wonderful violins. each note ringing in splendour of its maker. how i wish it was that easy for everything to be built so beautifully and at such perfection. thinking about the fact that over the last few days i have experienced many things that could not easily be explained in spoken languages. my whole being has nv felt so numb to the things that happened around me. However, God has continued to be faithful in keeping me intact even so when i have been faithless. i thank Him that He has placed so many wonderful instrumental people who have made my life a living orchestra. it just feels that every single step of the way i am failing myself but everyone has been spontaneous in keepin me so filled up. God's love never ceases to amaze even the blind like me. I wanna tell you that regardless of everything that has happened let us stick it out and continue to seek for God's revealation for both our lives. let not others affect our senses lest we succumb to our emotions and lose everything. love is a marathon so much so that if we run too fast we burn out. sometimes baby steps make the whole journey a lot more exciting as we just absorb every thing on our way. Lets do this together and continue to trust in God. I love you...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
1st post this year.. aint no giant leap for mankind...D'UH
alrighty than.... first post of this year....ya ya i know a bit behind schedule so wat...lol...ok dun start throwing your shoes at me. OUCH!!! that hurt you nut... ARRRRR!! ok that was pretty random BUT.... lets put our hands together...(applaud dammit) and welcome back the one and only, the guy who defied all odds, the onli person to have written ssuch a load of crap so far.... ME!!!
who did ya think it was? George Bush ( no offence man... its jus... you!!!)
ok lets see.... what can i blog abt???
well i am free as a bird now not havin to do anythin important except strategically place myself around the house and come to the next stage of my nirvana plan...SLEEP!! eh disclaimer.....NEED TALENT OK!!!
oh for those about to rock and roll and yes i salute u...i dunno how this has referance but i will be enrolling into NP for Mass Comm..... so yeah.... i am the fella who could go to jc but didnt... sorry....i think... i mean yeah i sympathise but you cant blame us rte... if u could... than... ya... ok... ha! anyway school is startin soon but meanwhile i got myself a job... actually no...
dun blame me man... its hard tryin to get back to this online journal shit where ppl read all my esapades and rendeavous that happen on the southern part of portugal...c'mon it aint my fault i have to live a dangerous life... u think crossing the road not dangerous ar... stupid u... becos of u thats why we kena road kill la....fools!!!
i dun think i wrote long enough to justify myself so i am jus going to increase the font size... deal with it you wide eyed buggers... squint eyed you can thank me ltr...... here goess.... wow!!...AWESOME!!! THIS IS THE BOMB...
THIS IS FUN. WOW!! SO BIG... SAD... CANT GO BIGGER.. OH WELLS LIKE WHAT THEY SAY ITS THE FUNCTION NOT THE SIZE... EVSSSS.....
I GUESS I WILL END TODAYS WONDERFUL ENTRY BY SAYIN BYE.
BYE
who did ya think it was? George Bush ( no offence man... its jus... you!!!)
ok lets see.... what can i blog abt???
well i am free as a bird now not havin to do anythin important except strategically place myself around the house and come to the next stage of my nirvana plan...SLEEP!! eh disclaimer.....NEED TALENT OK!!!
oh for those about to rock and roll and yes i salute u...i dunno how this has referance but i will be enrolling into NP for Mass Comm..... so yeah.... i am the fella who could go to jc but didnt... sorry....i think... i mean yeah i sympathise but you cant blame us rte... if u could... than... ya... ok... ha! anyway school is startin soon but meanwhile i got myself a job... actually no...
dun blame me man... its hard tryin to get back to this online journal shit where ppl read all my esapades and rendeavous that happen on the southern part of portugal...c'mon it aint my fault i have to live a dangerous life... u think crossing the road not dangerous ar... stupid u... becos of u thats why we kena road kill la....fools!!!
i dun think i wrote long enough to justify myself so i am jus going to increase the font size... deal with it you wide eyed buggers... squint eyed you can thank me ltr...... here goess.... wow!!...AWESOME!!! THIS IS THE BOMB...
THIS IS FUN. WOW!! SO BIG... SAD... CANT GO BIGGER.. OH WELLS LIKE WHAT THEY SAY ITS THE FUNCTION NOT THE SIZE... EVSSSS.....
I GUESS I WILL END TODAYS WONDERFUL ENTRY BY SAYIN BYE.
BYE
Monday, November 27, 2006
4 parts to one me
hello my fellow readers. i have finally come to a total conclusion to attempt blogging everyday.. a new blogskin will come soon so many new changes from me to you = )
moving along to todays entry.. there will be 4 things i will touch on yeah... so get ready
1. Music is my life
2. My little superhero girl
3. Me and my vile durian
4. PROM!!
1. music is my life
Recently i got myself involved with SYFC in the performing arts area and yeah its gotten me quite busy. I am playin the bass guitar for technically 6 days a week. its got me and my priorities straight cos' its really what i wanted to do for the longest of times to be able to serve God through the music i play. it gets really tiring but i hope that i will always remember to realli do everythin for God and the best only! well readers, always go all out and pursue and do everythin to the best of your abilities and don't ever give yourself the chance to look back and say that you are a failure...
2. My little superhero girl!!
First an foremost i wanna say that i am sorry being so busy during the holidays and i know i did something that went against what i said to you initially. But i also want to thank you for understanding and being supportive of me. it really means the world. I promise to write you 4 letters before your camp and promise to spend more time with you whenever i can. i promise to hug and hold you whenever you miss me or need me. I promise to love you for as long as we are together and love you unconditionally. Thank you for being mine. Rock on. My little superhero girl!!
3. Me and my vile durian
As i finished the last of the previous paragraph, my nose started to bleed and yes it is due to the bugger of a absolutely fantastic-buttery thai durian that my daddy bought. so yeah.... anyway i love my durian and yeah its my best friend everytime i am chattin late into the night.... its a nice friend lol...sorry this was just an additional bullshit paragraph... moving on...
4. PROM!!
Prom. the night where nerds, jocks, dickheads, asswipes and the best of friends gather in a bal room to dance their ass off. the day where people who cant dance let their hair down and shake their booties like they did when they first heard michael jackson's "THRILLER" . The night where a cast system existed no more and everyone magically transforms into classy adults in all the suits and pretty dresses. as the dj spins the turntable they become unison as one cohort that has never been.. ok who was i joking... prom was coooller than that ass shaking intro i gave... ya....well prom rocked because we were there... i learnt that we made prom and not prom to us.. we are the one...and we rock!!! Ladies and gentleman... cautious reminder... prom is also the beginning of the end of secondary school life... where we go on our own seperate ways like how our forefathers left malaysia.... we wil be independant... soon we willl fade.... lets hope that don't happen!!
anyway... to end today i just wanna say that secondary school life with all my buds rocked.... i have already started missing it.... well... rock one my mates!! lets get together frequently til we turn all saggy and soggy... peace!!
moving along to todays entry.. there will be 4 things i will touch on yeah... so get ready
1. Music is my life
2. My little superhero girl
3. Me and my vile durian
4. PROM!!
1. music is my life
Recently i got myself involved with SYFC in the performing arts area and yeah its gotten me quite busy. I am playin the bass guitar for technically 6 days a week. its got me and my priorities straight cos' its really what i wanted to do for the longest of times to be able to serve God through the music i play. it gets really tiring but i hope that i will always remember to realli do everythin for God and the best only! well readers, always go all out and pursue and do everythin to the best of your abilities and don't ever give yourself the chance to look back and say that you are a failure...
2. My little superhero girl!!
First an foremost i wanna say that i am sorry being so busy during the holidays and i know i did something that went against what i said to you initially. But i also want to thank you for understanding and being supportive of me. it really means the world. I promise to write you 4 letters before your camp and promise to spend more time with you whenever i can. i promise to hug and hold you whenever you miss me or need me. I promise to love you for as long as we are together and love you unconditionally. Thank you for being mine. Rock on. My little superhero girl!!
3. Me and my vile durian
As i finished the last of the previous paragraph, my nose started to bleed and yes it is due to the bugger of a absolutely fantastic-buttery thai durian that my daddy bought. so yeah.... anyway i love my durian and yeah its my best friend everytime i am chattin late into the night.... its a nice friend lol...sorry this was just an additional bullshit paragraph... moving on...
4. PROM!!
Prom. the night where nerds, jocks, dickheads, asswipes and the best of friends gather in a bal room to dance their ass off. the day where people who cant dance let their hair down and shake their booties like they did when they first heard michael jackson's "THRILLER" . The night where a cast system existed no more and everyone magically transforms into classy adults in all the suits and pretty dresses. as the dj spins the turntable they become unison as one cohort that has never been.. ok who was i joking... prom was coooller than that ass shaking intro i gave... ya....well prom rocked because we were there... i learnt that we made prom and not prom to us.. we are the one...and we rock!!! Ladies and gentleman... cautious reminder... prom is also the beginning of the end of secondary school life... where we go on our own seperate ways like how our forefathers left malaysia.... we wil be independant... soon we willl fade.... lets hope that don't happen!!
anyway... to end today i just wanna say that secondary school life with all my buds rocked.... i have already started missing it.... well... rock one my mates!! lets get together frequently til we turn all saggy and soggy... peace!!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
childrens day!!
hey people of the blogging world today marks the 1st of October... today i would like to commerate 3 significant events...
1. Grace's birthday!!
2. Last meeting =
3. Childrens day
1. Grace's birthday
today is Grace's birthday (due to personal reasons i shall tell you that grace is '25') yes indeed. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY Grace... will record the song soon... i dun even think you read my blog but heck!!
2. Last meeting
today is a sad day as well because i wont be able to meet her until after the O's... saddening but true.. well i hope you study hard and do the Lord proud and i will be praying and supporting you all the way frm serangoon..lol...<3
3. Childrens' day
this is actually the main focal point to todays entry.. i got this inspiration while i was in the bath and watching mtv after that... today is a day marked out for children all over S'pore and a day to be reminded that i am old.. well... i am still a child wat...lol...anyway children of s'pore get gifts on a day like this and some even get to slave drive their parents for a day.. but is it like this all over the world?
children in less developed countries are still suffering on this day. they are not even aware that a day has been set a side for them.. child pornography is still on a rise... what happened to the "i believe children are our future..." mentality....we hear of sexual exploitaion... poverty... and even how children are used to help bums earn a living... children are human beings and they are not much lesser than you.. remember that you sick shits!!! Jesus said that children will be the greatest in the kingdom of God and anyone who goes to heaven must be like a child, humble and innocent...i urge the world to remember that children are not a tool to make money... children are human beings not any lesser than me or you... pray for this children... get aware!!
isaac!
1. Grace's birthday!!
2. Last meeting =
3. Childrens day
1. Grace's birthday
today is Grace's birthday (due to personal reasons i shall tell you that grace is '25') yes indeed. so HAPPY BIRTHDAY Grace... will record the song soon... i dun even think you read my blog but heck!!
2. Last meeting
today is a sad day as well because i wont be able to meet her until after the O's... saddening but true.. well i hope you study hard and do the Lord proud and i will be praying and supporting you all the way frm serangoon..lol...<3
3. Childrens' day
this is actually the main focal point to todays entry.. i got this inspiration while i was in the bath and watching mtv after that... today is a day marked out for children all over S'pore and a day to be reminded that i am old.. well... i am still a child wat...lol...anyway children of s'pore get gifts on a day like this and some even get to slave drive their parents for a day.. but is it like this all over the world?
children in less developed countries are still suffering on this day. they are not even aware that a day has been set a side for them.. child pornography is still on a rise... what happened to the "i believe children are our future..." mentality....we hear of sexual exploitaion... poverty... and even how children are used to help bums earn a living... children are human beings and they are not much lesser than you.. remember that you sick shits!!! Jesus said that children will be the greatest in the kingdom of God and anyone who goes to heaven must be like a child, humble and innocent...i urge the world to remember that children are not a tool to make money... children are human beings not any lesser than me or you... pray for this children... get aware!!
isaac!
Friday, September 22, 2006
another boring story
hello my fellow bored ppl... welcome back to the blog in which you so dearly missed for a good month of your life while u sat on ur asses growin fat. welcome to the hell hole of all u ingrates peace and greeting to you!
anyway with that stupid introduction i am back. but i will onli be here for another one time b4 i am sacrificed to the gods of the bloody o level exams residing in their warm comfy fat ass chairs having a spot of tea while we are left as scraps to feed to the dogs! life has ones again reverted to a mundane state where studyin seems the onli option. and yes prelims jus finished, results sucked, need i say more....
rte todays post will be dedicated to my favourite teacher who i hope will drill me to the grnd b4 i commit suicide. i shall not name that person because she is severely over 40 yup...old! anyway she has been my source of inspiration. being a long winded wind bag has certainly inspired me to be the best i can. her constant encouragements of "go kill yourself" and "hahah too bad" well it paid off i hope... indeed she is the best teacher anyone could have and i dun mean any of that in a sarcastic tone but really those were the words of wisdom for someone who has walked this earth much longer than dinosaurs..yup my dear old-one of a kind- nonchalant heck of a teacher... my inspiration...
anyway things at camp suicide have improved eh... we are all working our butts off to not make life anymore difficult than it is for ourselves...ed still thinks i am beef...ha...anyway that was random...
i am proud to say i am proud of someone who has cried over conversations and got worried about everything under the sun stuck it out well and did her best for the prelims! i am here to extend my big applaus for her....
moving on to the latest news: the weather for tml seems partly cloudly with all the crazy nuts trying their best to organise a crap camp of a holiday...please dun take anythin personally cause i didnt state names and some of this scenarios may be fictional so if anyone dead or alive has the same letters in their name....i was totally coincedental.....ok bull shit jus falling from the sky now...anyway i cant write no more,....i dunno wat to type anymore...wait til my rusted brain has completed the mundane of a life stage meanwhile you ppl get ready for a new revolution that will be led very soon...in camp suicide!!! chill you nuts@@
anyway with that stupid introduction i am back. but i will onli be here for another one time b4 i am sacrificed to the gods of the bloody o level exams residing in their warm comfy fat ass chairs having a spot of tea while we are left as scraps to feed to the dogs! life has ones again reverted to a mundane state where studyin seems the onli option. and yes prelims jus finished, results sucked, need i say more....
rte todays post will be dedicated to my favourite teacher who i hope will drill me to the grnd b4 i commit suicide. i shall not name that person because she is severely over 40 yup...old! anyway she has been my source of inspiration. being a long winded wind bag has certainly inspired me to be the best i can. her constant encouragements of "go kill yourself" and "hahah too bad" well it paid off i hope... indeed she is the best teacher anyone could have and i dun mean any of that in a sarcastic tone but really those were the words of wisdom for someone who has walked this earth much longer than dinosaurs..yup my dear old-one of a kind- nonchalant heck of a teacher... my inspiration...
anyway things at camp suicide have improved eh... we are all working our butts off to not make life anymore difficult than it is for ourselves...ed still thinks i am beef...ha...anyway that was random...
i am proud to say i am proud of someone who has cried over conversations and got worried about everything under the sun stuck it out well and did her best for the prelims! i am here to extend my big applaus for her....
moving on to the latest news: the weather for tml seems partly cloudly with all the crazy nuts trying their best to organise a crap camp of a holiday...please dun take anythin personally cause i didnt state names and some of this scenarios may be fictional so if anyone dead or alive has the same letters in their name....i was totally coincedental.....ok bull shit jus falling from the sky now...anyway i cant write no more,....i dunno wat to type anymore...wait til my rusted brain has completed the mundane of a life stage meanwhile you ppl get ready for a new revolution that will be led very soon...in camp suicide!!! chill you nuts@@
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
seriously cranky!
my fellow friends i bid you greetings from my very own hell hole!
tomorrow is the oral exams! bloody fast la!
panicky? nah!
planning to bull shit!
dun ask me about the spaces i ain't sure so...
anyway life so far? very much the same except a drastic change in my talk time...it seems my mobile phone would be underused until the O's are over...falling very sick now (not in my head ED!) and yeah it was contributed by the lack of a better half i guess....wonderboy left me for some shit hole yeah...hell was not good enough...well...stupid man!
anyway lost my alter ego, my ability to write songs and it seems my life! has become nothing but MUNDANE! i dunno what to say or feel but it aint no matter no more...i guess i aint emo! well maybe....haha! things between ppl have been about the same maybe i am becoming sensitive or the whole world is but yeah same o same o! cant imagine if you were to go to france! akon will so be my trash hold! its a bit the difficult to know any longer how i should write all this trash but i guess i would not be blogging for an uber long time soyeah...well the internet is full of other trash go make yourself at home... dun really think i would be missed much...
stagnant mobile; too chicken a boy to make the call!!
tomorrow is the oral exams! bloody fast la!
panicky? nah!
planning to bull shit!
dun ask me about the spaces i ain't sure so...
anyway life so far? very much the same except a drastic change in my talk time...it seems my mobile phone would be underused until the O's are over...falling very sick now (not in my head ED!) and yeah it was contributed by the lack of a better half i guess....wonderboy left me for some shit hole yeah...hell was not good enough...well...stupid man!
anyway lost my alter ego, my ability to write songs and it seems my life! has become nothing but MUNDANE! i dunno what to say or feel but it aint no matter no more...i guess i aint emo! well maybe....haha! things between ppl have been about the same maybe i am becoming sensitive or the whole world is but yeah same o same o! cant imagine if you were to go to france! akon will so be my trash hold! its a bit the difficult to know any longer how i should write all this trash but i guess i would not be blogging for an uber long time soyeah...well the internet is full of other trash go make yourself at home... dun really think i would be missed much...
stagnant mobile; too chicken a boy to make the call!!
Monday, August 07, 2006
dont know why...
hey peeps its been another long time since i started blogging but yea well...anyway been going thru a lot since the last time i blogged some good and some bad but it doesnt really matter now... todays entry will come free and easy wherever my fingers go on this keyboard.
the moment we were born and could speak we started to question. and many of this questions seemed irrelevant to the adults cause none of them gave a damn on why the sky was blue or why rain fell and didn't rise... but it seems that we have become the very adults we detested. we cant really be bothered with those younger than us neither can we understand wth the older ppl talked abt. so ya. things are really reversing as we grow. this aint only for the questioning part but it works the same way as information. we used to marvel at the creation that walked the earth but now it seems as though that dont matter no more. why? is it not important to know why we were created. for one i would not tolerate that i was an accident and out of somebodies nose hair came such a being like me...thats all the bull the world offers and yup its stupid...lol...
the next thing i would go into is......music?
i dunno music is really something that seems to always match a certain mood we have. listn to jazz brings us to the relack one corner kinda mentallity but if we were to go on to metal we would do it based on angst and everythin but happiness yougeddawaddaimean....so music plays by mood. like as i type this lethargic post i am listn to norah jones throw me jazz ballads and make me sleepy and yes i am tempted to hear angus young crank up his guit or billie joe armstrong scream his ounk lungs out and maybe even get that fone call i am so waiting for... it makes me feel comforted to hear the fone ring but many times the people on the other end aint what i am seeking to reduce my troubles.... where is that special person....well take things easy and every stride with pride and walk on by.... kudos to the ppl out dere who have cared for the angsty bugger behind the keyboard so yeah... chill and rock on man...
anyway i gotta bid you farewell.... going to relak one corner....
peace!
the moment we were born and could speak we started to question. and many of this questions seemed irrelevant to the adults cause none of them gave a damn on why the sky was blue or why rain fell and didn't rise... but it seems that we have become the very adults we detested. we cant really be bothered with those younger than us neither can we understand wth the older ppl talked abt. so ya. things are really reversing as we grow. this aint only for the questioning part but it works the same way as information. we used to marvel at the creation that walked the earth but now it seems as though that dont matter no more. why? is it not important to know why we were created. for one i would not tolerate that i was an accident and out of somebodies nose hair came such a being like me...thats all the bull the world offers and yup its stupid...lol...
the next thing i would go into is......music?
i dunno music is really something that seems to always match a certain mood we have. listn to jazz brings us to the relack one corner kinda mentallity but if we were to go on to metal we would do it based on angst and everythin but happiness yougeddawaddaimean....so music plays by mood. like as i type this lethargic post i am listn to norah jones throw me jazz ballads and make me sleepy and yes i am tempted to hear angus young crank up his guit or billie joe armstrong scream his ounk lungs out and maybe even get that fone call i am so waiting for... it makes me feel comforted to hear the fone ring but many times the people on the other end aint what i am seeking to reduce my troubles.... where is that special person....well take things easy and every stride with pride and walk on by.... kudos to the ppl out dere who have cared for the angsty bugger behind the keyboard so yeah... chill and rock on man...
anyway i gotta bid you farewell.... going to relak one corner....
peace!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
angsty bugger!
well how time flies and so does this alter ego of mine. well it has turned passe with those around me. yes to diana i am an angsty guy and i ain't proud of it but there is just more than one side. this blog shows people a side of me that people do not usually see. i am not saying i am posing in all my ways but it is through my writing i can express things better.
angst has always been a problem for the many youths of today and me obviously. it is something that we all have to face because of the ever continuing problems we face. but the only difference is how we deal with this angst. i deal with it by writing while some deal it in a different way like personal infliction. the only reason why i choose to be more liberated here is because i want the world to know. its difficult to say things and thats the truth but escaping it is worse. in time i will learn to share more and i will do that in the know that it will help. God loves and i don't deny because i have seen it happening in my life a lot. i feel down many times because i view myself as a failure when i really had nothing to do with a situation at all. i lack a quality known as self preservation and that kills me really fast. i have grown over time to learn to understand people faster than usual and that has been both a blessing and a curse because i tend to judge and than appropriately mould my life around others. this really makes me a failure at what i preach and right now i am doing my best to make things work out not for people and not for me but for God because it is a servents duty to serve a master whole heartedly and not grudgingly. i thank Him for giving me the ability to really understand things fast but that is different from allowing me to let go.
it is always important to know why we fall rather than to get up because we might just be moving on without knowing anything only to find ourselves back at square one.
angst has always been a problem for the many youths of today and me obviously. it is something that we all have to face because of the ever continuing problems we face. but the only difference is how we deal with this angst. i deal with it by writing while some deal it in a different way like personal infliction. the only reason why i choose to be more liberated here is because i want the world to know. its difficult to say things and thats the truth but escaping it is worse. in time i will learn to share more and i will do that in the know that it will help. God loves and i don't deny because i have seen it happening in my life a lot. i feel down many times because i view myself as a failure when i really had nothing to do with a situation at all. i lack a quality known as self preservation and that kills me really fast. i have grown over time to learn to understand people faster than usual and that has been both a blessing and a curse because i tend to judge and than appropriately mould my life around others. this really makes me a failure at what i preach and right now i am doing my best to make things work out not for people and not for me but for God because it is a servents duty to serve a master whole heartedly and not grudgingly. i thank Him for giving me the ability to really understand things fast but that is different from allowing me to let go.
it is always important to know why we fall rather than to get up because we might just be moving on without knowing anything only to find ourselves back at square one.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
weirdo...
hello again... beautiful day..i am writing my second entry in abt one hour or two...who cares...anyway i have evolved into a walking time bomb... a blender mixed with feelings, emotions, and me! so yeah i will have that frap to go with cream please..
so you see that i can get mad and i hope for the tolerance that all my friends can give me.... i will blow and than simmer as though i am crazy...but i am...
i feel the urge like i said to be evil yet i have learnt that goodness is a better option... i dunno anything anymore... i dun feel like talking... can i totally outkast myself like last time... can i bear the consequences of my choices... i dunno and there is no one to really tell me... so ya.... i am lost...
LOST! did u hear me? i got lost because of the crap i had to suffer... and am still suffering... why cant i be happy for myself... its just in me to still care... but why? cant i be cold and heartless... its difficult to understand people... they seem to love masking themselves up and when they face someone who turns insane like me they go scared and avoid... well... i bring reality and that can suck so ya... ha...
its difficult and never easy... dunno why i am still typing because i really exhausted all that i had to say.. i preached my lesson but it hasnt come to mind... so yeah... before i preach something i cant live i would stop here and allow a breather... this isn't the last of me... i will....
so you see that i can get mad and i hope for the tolerance that all my friends can give me.... i will blow and than simmer as though i am crazy...but i am...
i feel the urge like i said to be evil yet i have learnt that goodness is a better option... i dunno anything anymore... i dun feel like talking... can i totally outkast myself like last time... can i bear the consequences of my choices... i dunno and there is no one to really tell me... so ya.... i am lost...
LOST! did u hear me? i got lost because of the crap i had to suffer... and am still suffering... why cant i be happy for myself... its just in me to still care... but why? cant i be cold and heartless... its difficult to understand people... they seem to love masking themselves up and when they face someone who turns insane like me they go scared and avoid... well... i bring reality and that can suck so ya... ha...
its difficult and never easy... dunno why i am still typing because i really exhausted all that i had to say.. i preached my lesson but it hasnt come to mind... so yeah... before i preach something i cant live i would stop here and allow a breather... this isn't the last of me... i will....
wonderboy
High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds, There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly. Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck. Yeah, yeah. Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power? Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?
can i be wonderboy? life sometimes is really filled with mucky muck man and things that its just difficult. my post have really lamented life to the point of life's non-existence.
i wanna feel like wonderboy is that too much to ask? childish but sometimes we must. escaping from the mucky muck to make sure life will allow us to stand tall and proud. i am pressing on to do that so that i may not be affected. i have turned to become a little more freaky than before and it seems that it eats me up. i wrote two letters today which showed botht the demon and angel like character that was contained inside of me. i wanted badly to take revenge yet that vengeance was not mine to handle but Gods'.
i just need the silence to drown my heart out to really say that i will not be affected. life is still going to fast. i have dug certain graves and have prepared myself to lie in it in hope for the best of the others that my death might make grasses greener. i will decompose slowly to form nothing and eventually all that is left will be mere memories that will lose its meaning. we will forget how the strawberyy ice cream tasted so sweet in our mouths and vaguely remember the insignificant. life doesnt always go the way we want so live with it!
i will be wonder boy....
can i be wonderboy? life sometimes is really filled with mucky muck man and things that its just difficult. my post have really lamented life to the point of life's non-existence.
i wanna feel like wonderboy is that too much to ask? childish but sometimes we must. escaping from the mucky muck to make sure life will allow us to stand tall and proud. i am pressing on to do that so that i may not be affected. i have turned to become a little more freaky than before and it seems that it eats me up. i wrote two letters today which showed botht the demon and angel like character that was contained inside of me. i wanted badly to take revenge yet that vengeance was not mine to handle but Gods'.
i just need the silence to drown my heart out to really say that i will not be affected. life is still going to fast. i have dug certain graves and have prepared myself to lie in it in hope for the best of the others that my death might make grasses greener. i will decompose slowly to form nothing and eventually all that is left will be mere memories that will lose its meaning. we will forget how the strawberyy ice cream tasted so sweet in our mouths and vaguely remember the insignificant. life doesnt always go the way we want so live with it!
i will be wonder boy....
Monday, July 10, 2006
story time...
rain drops fell along the sidewalk of cherry street by which a young lad sat watching cars go by and enjoying the ice cream he paid for with the dime that rolled down that street. as the drops fell, the lad looked up to the heavens and tears flowed down his face. mummy was gone that day.
a few blocks away at the local cemetary, a man clad in black watched as the ordained minister pronounced his last rites before the casket was sealed. sadness encompassed the whole town.
nothing really brings a smile to our faces when deaths of friends or family members come our way. by this death i do not mean mere physical ones but those that involve us totally regretting to not be able to say our last sorries because our pride meant more. can't we just be frank and say that all that happen really was because we lacked faith within ourself. why must everythin be rationalized!
the lad looked up and instead of blaming God for his mother's death, he proclaimed, "Thank you God for showing your sympathy by pouring this showers down on me to really remember that you will always be there for me as you had to my mother who rest by your side."
Live your life in hope that we can sail through nicely, well all i can say is that you are a slob if you do think that way. Life isn't about you. Life is about showing those around us what
God has done so that they might eventually be convicted and love the Lord in the same way we do.
~soli deo gloria
a few blocks away at the local cemetary, a man clad in black watched as the ordained minister pronounced his last rites before the casket was sealed. sadness encompassed the whole town.
nothing really brings a smile to our faces when deaths of friends or family members come our way. by this death i do not mean mere physical ones but those that involve us totally regretting to not be able to say our last sorries because our pride meant more. can't we just be frank and say that all that happen really was because we lacked faith within ourself. why must everythin be rationalized!
the lad looked up and instead of blaming God for his mother's death, he proclaimed, "Thank you God for showing your sympathy by pouring this showers down on me to really remember that you will always be there for me as you had to my mother who rest by your side."
Live your life in hope that we can sail through nicely, well all i can say is that you are a slob if you do think that way. Life isn't about you. Life is about showing those around us what
God has done so that they might eventually be convicted and love the Lord in the same way we do.
~soli deo gloria
Thursday, July 06, 2006
normal..
well...its hours before the my final predictament....worried...D"UH!!! but thanks to my mates at school and everyone else for showing support...i will get well!!! i promise...and finally attain my rock and roll dreams...lol....rte..ok.....enjoy this post in green....
live, love are really what many of us hold on too and sometimes we might lose the faith we put in this. its really difficult to move on in such a bleak future whereby nothin really seems to be gettin rte..well......thats faith for you...
faith is many times just believing in the unseeable and even untouchable...faith can be really be put to the test in many ways like how we would try and leap off a 20 storey building in hopes to live and be a hero...well....STUPID!!!
anyway what i really wanna bring across is that sometimes we need to make leaps of faith in life...as a Christian the biggest leaps i have made really involve me and my faith in God.... my walk with him can realli be described as walking through a foggy forest...i can hear him but sometimes i dun there to walk in the same direction....God and even our parents want us to trust their judgements but we just are afriad.... as much as we know they are there for us though we cant see them, we jus are to afraid to follow their voices instead we listn to ourselve and end up lost.... is this wat faith is all abt...trustin onli in yourself?
it has really been a difficult time for me rte now and all i can really do is trust and i am trying my best....I am weak but Thou O Lord art Strong....
live, love are really what many of us hold on too and sometimes we might lose the faith we put in this. its really difficult to move on in such a bleak future whereby nothin really seems to be gettin rte..well......thats faith for you...
faith is many times just believing in the unseeable and even untouchable...faith can be really be put to the test in many ways like how we would try and leap off a 20 storey building in hopes to live and be a hero...well....STUPID!!!
anyway what i really wanna bring across is that sometimes we need to make leaps of faith in life...as a Christian the biggest leaps i have made really involve me and my faith in God.... my walk with him can realli be described as walking through a foggy forest...i can hear him but sometimes i dun there to walk in the same direction....God and even our parents want us to trust their judgements but we just are afriad.... as much as we know they are there for us though we cant see them, we jus are to afraid to follow their voices instead we listn to ourselve and end up lost.... is this wat faith is all abt...trustin onli in yourself?
it has really been a difficult time for me rte now and all i can really do is trust and i am trying my best....I am weak but Thou O Lord art Strong....
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Time of your life!
time and time again i fell. time and time again i let people down. i let my family and God down so much that most of them have given up all hope on me. i can't really express my sorry-ful being now because nothing i can say will really change anything in my life. it has been more difficult for those around to really tolerate me but all i ask is for my family to pray for me. For God to forgive me and keep me to His side that i may not falter in my life. I am sorry to the faith i have kept for i have many a times attempted to run from Him and hide in the dark hoping that no one can see me. But He can. i ask myself how much have i shown to be the mature person that people see me to be but i guess i really can't. life has been a lie to a lot of people and i guess i really need to start being myself. introverted as i may presume i am, i never really know. no one can help me but my Faith in God and myself. why do i constantly have this short comings. no one really can answer this. i am writing all of this to represent what i feel in a form of words so i plead for no criticism. it is really a difficult peril that i am stuck in. obivious to my mistakes many a times. living a lie that everyone around me likes. maybe i should just take a step back and view the problems i have. my addiction for pornography, drinks, nicotine have all been part and parcel of this depraved mind i have. Has God really handed me over to that area? I have pledged myself time and time again to live the christian walk but end up not being who i ought to be. maybe i aint worth it anymore. i really want to change but with all this said i dun want to be treated differently at all by the people around me. its really somthing difficult to publish my short comings but i believe it is better to come clean and stop all this for the better. It aint really a laughin matter anymore for all of us especially myself. i have shown my skeletons.. my music has also sometimes been a hatred. many times it is really all jus superficial words that dont mean a thing but still add up to a tune. but this song i have written the whole of today brings out the fact that there is a need for us to look and treat life differently now. problems will be prevalent but we must face it head on. smiling makes the best of our days and if i am lying so help me God.
'i lay all this unto you, oh God that i might be a better servent and not remain as a sinner so depraved that death itself seems demeaning of all i have done. I call out to you to irradicate this sins and make my life a whole new one pleasing and holy unto your name in Jesus name i pray, Amen'
I aint ashamed of the faith and i would continue living my life in a different manner but here is the song i wrote for your viewing pleasure it is titled LIFE!
'i lay all this unto you, oh God that i might be a better servent and not remain as a sinner so depraved that death itself seems demeaning of all i have done. I call out to you to irradicate this sins and make my life a whole new one pleasing and holy unto your name in Jesus name i pray, Amen'
I aint ashamed of the faith and i would continue living my life in a different manner but here is the song i wrote for your viewing pleasure it is titled LIFE!
Life is all about them ups and downs
Its road never ever straight
But we still must face it with a smile
It is making me insane
Life aint that pretty like they say in Hollywood!
Nothing much we can do to make it change
But if there is one thing I know we all can do
Put that across your face
And say hey……
Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!
What would you do when a gun is pointed at your head?
Would you turn around and denounce your faith
If there is one thing that you wanted to change
Will it really make you smile once again!
Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!
Its road never ever straight
But we still must face it with a smile
It is making me insane
Life aint that pretty like they say in Hollywood!
Nothing much we can do to make it change
But if there is one thing I know we all can do
Put that across your face
And say hey……
Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!
What would you do when a gun is pointed at your head?
Would you turn around and denounce your faith
If there is one thing that you wanted to change
Will it really make you smile once again!
Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!
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