Time of your life!

time and time again i fell. time and time again i let people down. i let my family and God down so much that most of them have given up all hope on me. i can't really express my sorry-ful being now because nothing i can say will really change anything in my life. it has been more difficult for those around to really tolerate me but all i ask is for my family to pray for me. For God to forgive me and keep me to His side that i may not falter in my life. I am sorry to the faith i have kept for i have many a times attempted to run from Him and hide in the dark hoping that no one can see me. But He can. i ask myself how much have i shown to be the mature person that people see me to be but i guess i really can't. life has been a lie to a lot of people and i guess i really need to start being myself. introverted as i may presume i am, i never really know. no one can help me but my Faith in God and myself. why do i constantly have this short comings. no one really can answer this. i am writing all of this to represent what i feel in a form of words so i plead for no criticism. it is really a difficult peril that i am stuck in. obivious to my mistakes many a times. living a lie that everyone around me likes. maybe i should just take a step back and view the problems i have. my addiction for pornography, drinks, nicotine have all been part and parcel of this depraved mind i have. Has God really handed me over to that area? I have pledged myself time and time again to live the christian walk but end up not being who i ought to be. maybe i aint worth it anymore. i really want to change but with all this said i dun want to be treated differently at all by the people around me. its really somthing difficult to publish my short comings but i believe it is better to come clean and stop all this for the better. It aint really a laughin matter anymore for all of us especially myself. i have shown my skeletons.. my music has also sometimes been a hatred. many times it is really all jus superficial words that dont mean a thing but still add up to a tune. but this song i have written the whole of today brings out the fact that there is a need for us to look and treat life differently now. problems will be prevalent but we must face it head on. smiling makes the best of our days and if i am lying so help me God.

'i lay all this unto you, oh God that i might be a better servent and not remain as a sinner so depraved that death itself seems demeaning of all i have done. I call out to you to irradicate this sins and make my life a whole new one pleasing and holy unto your name in Jesus name i pray, Amen'

I aint ashamed of the faith and i would continue living my life in a different manner but here is the song i wrote for your viewing pleasure it is titled LIFE!

Life is all about them ups and downs
Its road never ever straight
But we still must face it with a smile
It is making me insane

Life aint that pretty like they say in Hollywood!
Nothing much we can do to make it change
But if there is one thing I know we all can do
Put that across your face
And say hey……

Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!

What would you do when a gun is pointed at your head?
Would you turn around and denounce your faith
If there is one thing that you wanted to change
Will it really make you smile once again!

Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!