angsty bugger!

well how time flies and so does this alter ego of mine. well it has turned passe with those around me. yes to diana i am an angsty guy and i ain't proud of it but there is just more than one side. this blog shows people a side of me that people do not usually see. i am not saying i am posing in all my ways but it is through my writing i can express things better.

angst has always been a problem for the many youths of today and me obviously. it is something that we all have to face because of the ever continuing problems we face. but the only difference is how we deal with this angst. i deal with it by writing while some deal it in a different way like personal infliction. the only reason why i choose to be more liberated here is because i want the world to know. its difficult to say things and thats the truth but escaping it is worse. in time i will learn to share more and i will do that in the know that it will help. God loves and i don't deny because i have seen it happening in my life a lot. i feel down many times because i view myself as a failure when i really had nothing to do with a situation at all. i lack a quality known as self preservation and that kills me really fast. i have grown over time to learn to understand people faster than usual and that has been both a blessing and a curse because i tend to judge and than appropriately mould my life around others. this really makes me a failure at what i preach and right now i am doing my best to make things work out not for people and not for me but for God because it is a servents duty to serve a master whole heartedly and not grudgingly. i thank Him for giving me the ability to really understand things fast but that is different from allowing me to let go.

it is always important to know why we fall rather than to get up because we might just be moving on without knowing anything only to find ourselves back at square one.