Time of your life!

time and time again i fell. time and time again i let people down. i let my family and God down so much that most of them have given up all hope on me. i can't really express my sorry-ful being now because nothing i can say will really change anything in my life. it has been more difficult for those around to really tolerate me but all i ask is for my family to pray for me. For God to forgive me and keep me to His side that i may not falter in my life. I am sorry to the faith i have kept for i have many a times attempted to run from Him and hide in the dark hoping that no one can see me. But He can. i ask myself how much have i shown to be the mature person that people see me to be but i guess i really can't. life has been a lie to a lot of people and i guess i really need to start being myself. introverted as i may presume i am, i never really know. no one can help me but my Faith in God and myself. why do i constantly have this short comings. no one really can answer this. i am writing all of this to represent what i feel in a form of words so i plead for no criticism. it is really a difficult peril that i am stuck in. obivious to my mistakes many a times. living a lie that everyone around me likes. maybe i should just take a step back and view the problems i have. my addiction for pornography, drinks, nicotine have all been part and parcel of this depraved mind i have. Has God really handed me over to that area? I have pledged myself time and time again to live the christian walk but end up not being who i ought to be. maybe i aint worth it anymore. i really want to change but with all this said i dun want to be treated differently at all by the people around me. its really somthing difficult to publish my short comings but i believe it is better to come clean and stop all this for the better. It aint really a laughin matter anymore for all of us especially myself. i have shown my skeletons.. my music has also sometimes been a hatred. many times it is really all jus superficial words that dont mean a thing but still add up to a tune. but this song i have written the whole of today brings out the fact that there is a need for us to look and treat life differently now. problems will be prevalent but we must face it head on. smiling makes the best of our days and if i am lying so help me God.

'i lay all this unto you, oh God that i might be a better servent and not remain as a sinner so depraved that death itself seems demeaning of all i have done. I call out to you to irradicate this sins and make my life a whole new one pleasing and holy unto your name in Jesus name i pray, Amen'

I aint ashamed of the faith and i would continue living my life in a different manner but here is the song i wrote for your viewing pleasure it is titled LIFE!

Life is all about them ups and downs
Its road never ever straight
But we still must face it with a smile
It is making me insane

Life aint that pretty like they say in Hollywood!
Nothing much we can do to make it change
But if there is one thing I know we all can do
Put that across your face
And say hey……

Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!

What would you do when a gun is pointed at your head?
Would you turn around and denounce your faith
If there is one thing that you wanted to change
Will it really make you smile once again!

Chorus
Stop and smell the roses
You are only 16
Life is only a nightmare when you make it seem
That there is no where else to hide
And nothing seems alright
So lets make the best out of life!

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hello one and all...jus so you would notice i increased the font for better viewing pleasure. this has been highlighted by many ppl who read this blog who say they can't see a shit. interesting how my prescence is still wanted even after that.

ok today all my colours would be rather gay. but not a suprise to many so yeah.

for a long time i have not blogged cause my life has been a real rollercoaster of tragedies, relieves, fun, and a whole lot more of mixed emotions. i have been tryin my best to get over certain things but its jus so hard to let go of things you truly spent your heart, mind and soul on and when they walk out it really sucks. i am still stuck in animation so much so i don't even know what is happenin to me. well even when things don't go our way at times it is always wise to try starting afresh. i wrote a song for a close person and the lyrics will be flashed at the bottom. yes it is emo so piss off if u cant stand it. i decided to put all i wanted to say to you within the song and maybe one day it will all be better again.

this entry is not going to be too lame because i am quite tired. haven been sleeping with the world cup and things running through my head at top sleep. life is going to fast and maybe i should do as Alicia says. "stop and smell the roses. you are onli 16 la chicken backside!" and yes i will try my hardest but maybe not the backside part. yeah. its really a wonder that God put friends on the earth to support us and everythin and i am truly appreciative of y'all and in my way i will take time to say thanks.

have fun peeps! this is the song i wrote and you can alwaes call me if u wanna hear it but i still have yet to present it to you...

title: I'm sorry (please forgive me)

What did you say,
Could you explain it
Or Can’t you just show me the way

I know I’m wrong
So please forgive me
Instead of just walking away

Drunk in my sorrows,
And lost in the way

Why must it hurt
Like a spear through my heart
Can’t you just give me a chance

If words and letters don’t mean a thing
Consider this song as my plea
I’m Sorry

I chose to escape
Away from the truth
Subliminal to all my mistakes

Down and depressed
I took you for granted
The darkness became my best friend

Drunk in my sorrow
And lost in the way

Why must it hurt
Like a spear through my heart
Can’t you just give me a chance

If words and letters don’t mean a thing
Consider this song as my plea
I’m Sorry

I am sincere about changing with time
I know you will give me that chance
Old habits die hard
But nothings impossible to change

Why must it hurt
Like a spear through my heart
Can’t you just give me a chance

If words and letters don’t mean a thing
Consider this song as my plea
I’m Sorry