Crazy?

this world is a messed up place.....with us especially......we are the messed up ppl who make this place messed up beyond our own control......now i understand why a flood had to wipe out the human race durin noah's time......

we as man have still yet to understand fully wat carin for others realli means.......we are still as stuck up as ever.....must we wait for another disaster before we change?

lately my life hasnt been the same....really confused abt myself...i noe i don normally tok abt myself in my postings but i jus cant seem to pour out this emotions.....

i haf done many things that do not glorify God. first it was my crappy results that i jus acheived....i really regret not doin better....havin to see my parents worry sooo much realli sux......cant i be a smart kid like everyone else....not for anythin else i am jus toooo darn lazy....i jus don get it why up to now i still aint bothered to change.....y must things turn out this way...

i have also done wrong to many ppl who cared abt me......i snubbed them, humiliated them, made them feel like ingrates when i am the one who realli fits into all this categories myself.....i haf been changin and not for the better either. y must i go to the extend of hurtin those who love me and whom i love......sometimes is jus lie in my bed and think til those tears flow down my cheeks on why i have become the monster i am.....itz like my life opened to the chapter of dr jekyl and mr hyde.......however i am missin that antidote.....

my life has been a spiritual wreck too....i haven been walkin closely with God....i alwaes pray to someday be like david....a man after God's heart but i nv keep to my hopes....i cant walk alone in this world....i need God...i jus dunno how to go abt it.....i jus don take the damn initiative......my heart pains everytime i noe i forget.....can anyone help me?

i guess this is indeed an entry tt i will nv forget.....will constantly look at it so i will remind myself to press on and take the first step to go abt acknowledgin him.......

hope u ppl have a good night and God Bless.....